HOMESTUCK 2
by uhwhytho
Summary: this is the canon homestuck 2 story Andrew hussie approves
1. the start of new advantare

"Oh dear God..."

John lay slouched on the couch. He had a traumitized look on his eyes, next to him Rose was reading a book about the spooks.

"John, you have been awful quiet lately, is something the matter?"

"Rose!? Are you kidding me!?" JOhn sat up pretty quick

"Eh?"

"DAVE JUST ATE KARKAT, TEREZI, AND KANAYA!"

"No I stabbed them. Then I ate them. It is very differnet Egbert." Dave walked in, juice box in hand. Except it was actually Terezis blood.

"YOU STILL KILLED PEOPLE YOU DERANGED MANIAC!1!1"

"Psh, what a wuss."

"Haha, yeah John. It's just natural selection. It happens." Rose looked up from her book.

"Jesus...What is wrong with you people!?"

Jade busted open the door.

"HAHA Howdy DO Im JAde!'

"Sis...Not you too!: John cried.

"You really need to lighten up scrambled egg, we are gonna go to a new universe. maybe then you'll see them. a **ND I WILL TRY TO _OVVERCOME THE TERRIFYING HUNGER THAT CONSUMES ME_** that sound cool to you dude?"

"..." John stared agape at Dave before nodding his head.

"Y-Yeah I guess I do need to lighten up"

Jade giggled " Yes John lighten uP!"

Rose closed her book. "Yes."

Dave went to the fridge and grabbed another juice box.

"Here you go man, we are gonna have so much fun in the new universe."

John grinned and took the box. He looked down and saw red liquid dripping out of the box. It was...Tempting...Yet made him want to hurl on the ceiling. Did it actually taste like cherries?

Looking up John saw that dave was looking up at him expectingly. his eyes were wide and bulging and shades off of hisface

JOhn laughed nervously.

"T-Thanks bro..."

His handtarembled as his lips reached closeer to the box.

"I CAN"T" He pushed th e box away from him.

Dav pushed him onto the floor as Rose and Jade hald John's arms down.

John struggled and cried out, his glasses flying off due to cool windy powers hehe woosh woosh.

"Dave! PLeaSE!"

"Lighten up bro" Dave wanked

"DAVE! BRO ! DUDE?! BEST FRIENDE!?"

Dave shoved the entire box into Johns mouth down into his aspohophgus.

John started spitting up blood and gasping for air. Dave squeezed the box so that John and Karkats blood combined together in his throat.

John struggles, trying to break out of Jade and Rose's grasp to take hold of Dave's hand to pry him off of him.

Dave squeezed John's throat, a friendly smile on his face.

"Da-!*Cough**Cough*Sto-Pleas-*Cough**Gasp" Dave shoved the box down further.

John;s eyes rolled into the back of his head, tears falling down his cheeks.

Karksts blood spurrted out throughh is nose burning his nostrils.

John began hallucinating seeing his dad infront of him

His breathing became heavy as his eyes slowly began closing shut, his body untensing.

Rose let go of John " Unfortunate fam"

Jade nodded. "Yeah"

"Welp lets go play uno"


	2. Oh mystery thats naet

john'sc eyes flutted open as he looked around the room.

He groaned in disgust. He will never eat cherries again.

He jumped as he saw daeve staring at him in a corner.

"Oh god no. oh god no. dont hurt me."

"Jade made pancakes."

"But I don't like panc-."

" _ **We are going to eat the pancackes** '_

"Okay." John sobbed.

Dave and John waddled over to the pancake table and ate the oancakes.

The four ate their panacanaks in silence akwardly.

John cleared his throat. "So uh...How long till we reach that new universe."

Rose shrugged. "Bout an hour."

"...Alright sounds go-"

"Oh we're here. Get out of my sights you fucking vermins."

As they exited their space vehicle they looked around in wonder of their surroundings.

Instead of a blue sky on earth. This planet's sky was light purple, dark blue and black just like space.

"So Dave? You said this was a different universe, right?"

"yes those were the words that came out of my mouth before I shoved a juice box in yours."

John shivered. " _don't remind me..."_

"Dont talk back to me."

"O-Okay." John took a step away from him. "So because we are in a new universe...That means there must be alternate versions of ourselves, right?"

Dave began walking away.

"W-Wait Dave-"

His arm was grabbed by Jade.

"Hey JohN! Me and Rose were gonna go to that lake over there! You wanna come?"

"No."

"We're goNNAa be in bikiniIIIIIIs!"

"No." John sighed.

"I know that YOU TotalLy have IncestssUest ffeeeeeeeLings for mE1!"

" _No."_ John turned up his nose in digust."

"Haha! Well ok John. But **just remember whose boyfriend died and got consumed by her brother."**

"No-Wait what?" John is very confused. Fucking loser.

Jade and Rose were already on their way towards the lake and Dave was already gone.

What was he gonna do. He could chase after Dave. And possibly get murdered. But it would also increase the character devolopment.

Or he could go to the lake. which would keep the plot going.

Or he could go back to the space vehicle and wait for that nice embrace of death.

He whipped around, hearing a soft shuffling sound in abush.

"Ooooooooooooh noo. Ooooooooooooooh ooooonooooo"

Dave kicked arock.

"Stupid John. "OhOh NOoooooOo I donT Wanna DrinK BlOOOdoOOodo oOoOoo NoNooo"

"Yo dude. What are you doing here?"

Dave turned around to see


	3. reveLATIONS(notreallytho)

himself wow dave it is dave. that took awhile huh ahahahahahahha

"Uh...? Hey me. Honestly its no surprise but wow ive never really seen them come out of the sky."

daverealstared.

"."

"."

"."

"."

"Okay well youve overstayed your welcome dont you think-"

dave focikn stabbed dave

"AHGAh!" the blood flowed out of his wound spot it was liKE EXPLODIN

"duDe What WTHWE FICUK?"

"sorry freidns mbut john is my fuck buddy."

"."Dave daved. "thE FUCK?"

Dave put his sword in his pocket.

"nothin personnel kid" he started walking away

"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo noooooooooooooo"

"JOHN."

"nOoOOoOOO"

"JOHN."

"nNONOoooPleaseee"

"JOHN SHUT THE FRICK UP"

"I dont wanna drink you again!"

"UHH THATSB NOGT ONE OF MY KINKS BUT OK"  
"KArkatattattatata?"

"YEAH?"

"how are you still alive!" john asked karkat tears streaming out o fhis eyes.

"I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING!"

"Uh?"

"YOU LITEREALLY ATE LAVA"

"nice"

"NO" karkat slapped John

"uhhhhhn whattttttttttt?" a voice came from behind.

"Jade!" "JADE!" there laid jade in a sups hot bikiki

"ummmmmmmmmmm

idont alow this"

"JADE! HOWD YOU GET OVER HERE AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING"

" **ssusjsjaiiaoll bbdbjjdio** "

"HM. YEAH OK"

karkat turned to John and pulled out a glock.

"HIOW FUCKING DARE YOU BRING THEM TOMY HOUSE"  
"WHAT!? KARKAT PUT THAT DOWN!" john screamed.

"NOO! YOU ARE THE REAL HIM WHAT?"  
"lmoa u guys are wild."

rosde laid uin the water in full shirt and skirt and other clothes of humans.

she played with

:)):

 **ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt**

 **aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa** ** _aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_** ** _aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_**

its was morning time in hte city terezi just finished her drawing. it was a super cool dragon breathing a ferocious flame with bulging eyes.

"D4V3'LL LOV3 TH1S!" she exclaimed to herself. she was loving this new living.

she ran out of her house heading for the lake.

a"nd thats why youre here." rose said finishing the 43rd rope around the chair terezi was tied to.

"OH. C4N 1 L3AV3?" TEREZI INquired

" rocketman"

"D4MN:["

rose went to the cupboard.

"SO HAV3 YOU S33N DAV3"

"which one"

"OK4Y YOU C4N 4CTU4LLY JUST SHUT TH3 FUCK UP W1TH TH3 S4SS"

rose literally fucking cut off her head lmao am i right relatable and wacky

"no"

john and kARKAt ran and ran

"hhehenehhedh" john breathed. "Is SHe still running?!"

"IDK BUT I CANT SSEE HER ANYMORE SO I THINK WERE GOOD"  
"ok"

john was sad

"JOHN ARE YOU SAD"

"no i am mad"

john was mad

they hugged.

"i wished my sister wasnt a giant woman whose skin was made of bikini"

"YEAH ME TOO"  
and so they banged

"thanks for the banging"  
"YEA YOU TOO"  
john madethecowsstop.

"hey katkar look! a city!'  
and boi was he right it was a city

tey hopped off their cows.

"OH NO" arkat picked up a paper hanging on a pole  
"huh what is it?"

john looked over.

it was a missing paper for john.

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW


End file.
